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Complaining... the RIGHT Way!
By Larinda Wenzel
Let me begin by saying that I, like most people, am an expert at complaining. That’s
right…I can look at anything, do anything, see anything or everything, and point out something that is wrong with it, or
how it can be better. What about you? Do you find it easy to complain? Most people do, because it’s so easy.
While I might be an “expert” complainer, I’m noticing more and more people that could make a whole career out of complaining!
It’s easy to complain about something, but the trick is getting results from our complaints. We have to change our
attitudes so we aren’t so negative, basically channeling that energy in a positive manner to get results. I realize that
this is contradictory because, by writing this article I am contributing to the problem - I’m complaining about complaining!
Complaining usually starts a vicious cycle that we cannot simply do away with, but we can approach complaining in
a different way that can be a more positive and productive experience for everyone involved.
It’s All About Attitude
First we need to realize that some things in life are absolutes – like death, taxes, and bad relationships. Once we accept that certain things will happen or are necessary evils we will be much better off. For instance, how many of you have complained that there just aren’t enough hours in the day? I’m guilty of this one, too, so it’s alright. But no matter how much we complain and wish we had more time, there will NEVER be more than 24 hours in a day! We should either be happy with our hectic schedules and know there is always tomorrow, or perhaps we can take on less responsibility. And while we’re on the subject of inevitabilities…
Computers do and will crash so ALWAYS back-up your information! Accept the fact that planes will be delayed, luggage will get lost, and airline food will always leave something to be desired. Charles Swindoll once said, “We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you...we are in charge of our Attitudes”. Remember, it’s all about attitude!
Get the Facts
Effective complaining requires knowledge; otherwise you’re simply whining or wasting you’re breath. A group of kids at the college I work for were running for office last semester and made promises they couldn’t keep in trying to resolve a complaint from the student body. This complaint was a new campus policy stating that each student would be allotted fifty pages to print at the on-campus computer labs. When a student ran out, they would have to spend their own money to purchase more. But instead of communicating with the college to “get the facts” and find out why the limit exists (as well as the associated costs), this group of candidates made it part of their platform to get more prints for each student. Only after they were elected did they approached the appropriate personnel (who happened to be my boss) with this complaint from the student body. They entered her office and basically demanded more prints for everybody. She explained to them the costs associated with printing including the paper and toner and how much was being wasted before we had a limit. Then she proceeded to tell them that she would have considered increasing the limit if they would have come to her before they slammed her in the campaign, and she didn’t appreciate them making promises they had no control over. The new officers were upset because this part of their “platform” would not be accomplished… but I think they learned a valuable lesson about “getting the facts”. Do your homework before you start complaining about something… otherwise, you might just look stupid.
Be Nice
I have taken and witnessed many complaints, and nine times out of ten the person that is rational always gets better results than the demanding person. I say NEVER underestimate the power of nice! When someone comes to me with a complaint and they are nice about it, I will go out of my way to try and resolve the issue and make things right. On the other hand, when I’m approached by someone demanding, irrational, or just plain whiney I usually have very little sympathy and may or may not help them. Think about it…which approach will truly get better results? Which approach would get better results if you were the complainee and not the complainer?
I understand in some situations we may be upset and nice is the last thing you can think of, but don’t take your anger out on someone that may not have any control over the situation. There is an important difference between frustrated and just plain rude. Many times when I have made formal complaints and have been upset talking to some random customer service rep I will say “I’m sorry if I’m being rude, I realize it’s not you’re fault and this is you’re job, but I’m extremely frustrated”. I always get a positive reply and they are happy to remedy the situation anyway they can.
Take It To The Next Level
I have an employee that is always coming to me with complaints, but the great thing is that he always has a proposed solution to the problem. This is fantastic because, even though he does have a valid complaint, by offering a solution he takes ownership of his complaint and takes things to the next level: change! I don’t view him as a complainer or whiner; I appreciate his input and take his suggestions very seriously. Change is good, and sometimes we need to have problems pointed out to us to continue to progress and improve. If there were no complaints, after all, things might never change for the better. I have a Successories picture in my office that says “Sometimes in the waves of change we find our true direction”. So remember that it is much more effective to offer a solution to a problem and take complaining to the next level!
So how can we become expert complainers and avoid being expert whiners? It’s as simple as changing our attitude, getting all the facts, being nice, identifying things that need changing, and offering solutions to do something about it!
Larinda Wenzel is a manager for Dixie State College's Information Technology Department and a regular contributor to the LSN. Click here to learn more about Larinda and how to contact her!
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